Dear Diary,
That conniving brother of mine must be trying to get rid of me, doubtless got wind that I'm screwing Kate nightly when he's not around, got a letter today 'inviting' me to train as a potential astronaut with NASA!
Fuck that for a barrel of monkies....no way Jose'! What, me stuck in one of those endless training programmes with a load of daffy yanks with no chance of a weekly legover or a good piss-up with the lads, bollocks to 'em all!

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