Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday dear macca, happy birthday to me! 70 today maaaan.
Now if that news don't deserve a bong nothing does. If only i could remember where I hid them. have to keep them out of the way of the wife and dustbin lids.
Being 69 was fun, because its a sexual position, snigger.
Met the Queen recently at the Jubilee concert and told her "I'm 69"
Thought she might be shocked, but she replied "Macca, fancy a quicky? Philip is in hospital and all the family are out the front listening to Cliff Richard".
Oh well, now that's a story to tell the grandkids.
Follow us on Twitter