Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary


Friday, 17 October 2008

7.00 Woke up today

8.00 Will be off to Mecca later today. This will mean extra prayer so as to obtain a full-house, as bingo in the Kurdistan Mecca can be a very fraught affair. All those fat women breaking wind. It was the worst thing they did, ban smoking, drinking and suicide bombing there.

8.30 A quick breakfast. Mrs Bin Laden, and she was last night, take it from me, laiden, phooooar, geddit? ("laid...en", com on, keep up you infidels) - er, she brought me her kitchen special - a bomb surprise - which I always tell her is in very poor taste.

10.00 Off to RupeeStretcher in town to buy some cheap prayer mats. Have to watch every Rupee know you know, since the banks collapsed. They are one group of buildings my demolition company Al Queida Deconstruction hasn't been blamed for.

12.00 Rabbi Lionel Blue popped in. He's one of ...

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