Now how about them, eh?
Got everybody to thinking I'm down under, and how would I keep a diary in all that wet? Hmmm? No, of course not.
They like brick walls and iron bars, everything dry and dusty, but at least I'm used to the heat here in Guantanamo. As to waterboarding? Oh Allah, mighty one (possibly not as Mighty as Myself, let me add), I'm used to that too! I've been a snorter all my life. So now . . .
Well, I'll just settle back with my little diary and make little funnels out of the pages and snort up all the dust on the window ledges and iron bars--Any high! I'm desperate!--and tough it out here for how long? Well, hell (excuse me, Allah), I'm due here for eternity.