I've decided to shave my beard and sell clippings on ebay. It has become extremely difficult to raise money these days. I will sell groups of 20 hairs starting at $49.95. Ear hair will go for $69.95 and pubic strands will be 79.95 for 5. If all goes well I will begin selling toenails and fingernails next week, the day after we bomb resort Hotel in Kenya!
PS: Use "buy it now" on pubic sales.