Had a really strange dream last night. Was at a pool party at Barrymore's house when Chancellor George Osbourne had a trampolining accident - seriously you had to be there!
Gideon asked me to take over the Budget. Not a problem I told him, I'm an experienced presenter. I actually added a few of my own policies, not sure if that donut Ed Miliband noticed.
All bearded millionaires exempt from tax.
Helicopter fuel cut to 0%
£200,000 bonus to presenter on all Deal or No Deal Shows when the jackpot of £250,000 is not won.
And then i woke up - Damn!