Nick Clegg - My Fake Diary

Dear Diary,
I noted today that little Edddie Milipeed climbed out of his toybax after week's of obscurity to attack Davey again, little tosser ranting on about bloody unemployment as usual. Mind you, come to think about it I haven't said much lately so perhaps I should pop up over the weekend and make some inane statement to the public in order that they know I'm not quite dead yet?
Let me check my social calender...ah, yes...I have a free spot between Noon and 1pm on Sunday...now, what shall I prattle on about I wonder.....?