Napoleon - My Fake Diary


Friday, 24 October 2014

Nov 1804

The candles flicker and dwindle, it is dark, cold and bleak...I have not dipped the wick for 2 weeks now...even the Czar's offer of Vodka and beetroot now seems attractive....

I am tired, forlorn...Josephine has defected to Portsmouth, she is on a 'posh fish and chips at the Captain's Table and YOGA weekend,' there....

I hear that the vessel concerned is none other than HMS VICTORY, whose glorious Admiral shall be nameless....Alors, I hope the fish is better than the battered merde he serves up to his crew.



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