August 15, 1769: I was born in Ajaccio, Corsica
August 9-20, 1794: I was imprisoned under suspicion of being a Jacobin and a supporter of Robespierre
August 1, 1798: Under the command of that shit-head Admiral Nelson, the British fleet destroys the French navy in the Battle of Aboukir
August 23, 1799: Receiving news of turmoil in France, I returned to Paris
August 30, 1799: Josephine refused me sex!
So, you can see I am not fond of the month of August!