Some asshole short sheeted my bed on April Fool's Day.
I'm only two feet tall, so I think that this qualifies as a hate crime.
I'm gonna sue somebody's ass, and I'll bet money that it was Mike Myers. He really is a fat bastard, and the only reason Austin Powers ever got shagged is because because Mike paid for it.
I think that I'll sugar his gas tank, but I'd better remember to bring a step stool so that I can reach it.