Dear Diary - What in the world is all of the fuss about me touching myself with a foam finger? I mean guy singers do it all the time and no one says diddly squat about it.
And baseball players do it all the time also, and they know that the television viewing audience and all the fans at the stadium are watching them.
But let little old skinny Miley Cyrus do it and someone wants to call out the national guard.
Well I don't care. Just wait till everyone sees what I do next. It'll make the foam finger crotch rub look like a game of checkers.