Dear Diary - It's been almost two months in this horrible place. I want to get out of this rehab clinic. I am starting to act goofy and silly.
I feel like people will forget about me and start paying attention to that spotlight hungry bitch Paris Hilton.
Gosh I miss my girlfriend Samantha Ronson and the cute little way she used to tickle my you-know-what until I peed.
Gosh I need a cigarette, a shot of tequila, and a new tattoo.