Dear Diary -
In my last court appearance I really tried my best to look sad. I do not want to have to return to the Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women.
I swear the place smells like feet and armpits.
The last time I was there I threw up an average of four times a day. I hate that place.
And some of those girls are the ugliest looking lesbians I have ever seen. I swear that some of those bitches make Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse look like the friggin Olsen twins.
I guess that I have to try and figure out a way to put the $2,500 necklace that I stole back somehow without anyone noticing.
I'll work on it. And I know I can figure out a way.