I hate being in jail, the guards forced me to wear an Orange Jumpsuit, I hate it, I wanna wear fancy clothes.
I don't even get a decent toilet either, I have to crap in a metal pot in front of my 3 cellmates who don't even care that I am Lindsay Lohan.
I don't like peas but what did I find on my meal tray today, nasty looking peas, I screamed and a guard told me to eat those peas anyways, I told him to eat it himself and he smacked my butt till I ate the peas, now my butt is in pain.
The only thing I can watch on TV is Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown. although they do plan to make me watch The Parent Trap as a way to torture me about how I was such a sweet girl when that movie was filmed.
I hate being in Jail, I hate it I hate it, get me outta here.