I wasn't invited to the Oscars this year. I was pretty jealous, to sit at home and watch all those stars on the red carpet - Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Viola whatserface and that french woman. Why haven't I been invited?
I need to make an award winning film before this time next year. Producers must have seen my television show, and I bet they've downloaded my 'home movie' with Ray J. It's about time someone offered me a movie role worthy of my stature. Kate Winslett and Halle Berry are always getting their t*ts out on the big screen - how am I any different from them?
Maybe I should star in my own silent movie like the french one that won 5 Oscars. I wouldn't have to remember any lines if it was silent. I hope producers get in touch with me soon.