Kim Jong-un - My Fake Diary

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Monday, 5 May 2014

Woke up at 7am to the sound of my uncle laughing at the American TV show "Friends". Felt it was a personal dig at me so I had him killed by 4 aggressive dogs. I do like Joey though. Don't think there is any badness in him.

11am so I grabbed myself a sandwich. Tuna, cheese slices and some lovely mayonaisse on two slices of bread. Tasted great. As I was eating the sandwich I got a text from Denis Rodman. He's in town for a few weeks and was wondering if I wanna watch him play basketball. YES! OBVIOUSLY. Hope this time he can help me master my slam dunks. That reminds me, must get those hoops lowered.

3pm I watch an episode of True Detective. After Denis, I think Woody Harrelson is my favourite person. Just a pity he is from the fucking U.S. Might invite him over to North Korea for a game of chess. He can bring Willy Nelson (heard he was a chatterbox)...

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