Dear Diary - I am getting a little bit upset at the fact that I wrote Lindsay Lohan a personal letter inviting her to visit my country and she has not responded yet.
I do not play games; especially with women, and especially with American women.
She had better reply to my letter and reply pretty soon otherwise I will Google her house and fire one of my missiles towards it.
Do not play games with me you boozing, drug abusing freckle-faced ho because I am one mean son-of-a-gun who can be a real bitch when I get angry.
Kim Jong Un (Leader of North Korea)