Dear Diary - I hope that Queen Elizabeth gets off my back and soon. I have just about had enough of the old windbag trying to run Willie's and my marriage.
I do not interfere with her and Philip's marital endeavors so she had better keep her royal nose out of mine.
And I do not care if I never get invited to Buckhouse again, who needs the place - it's old and it smells like a New Jersey landfill.
Kate Middleton (AKA The Duchess of Cambridge)