So Wills is away in the Falklands, and brother Harry is in Brazil.
No one my age to keep me company in the Royal Household. Pippa not returning calls, probably out wiggling her arse for a camera somewhere.
What about me, where do I get to go in my new role as Royal Patron for something or other?
The East End of London. Must be Philips idea of a joke. Is he trying to have knocked off already?