Dear Diary - I am one big piece of a mess. I have no idea what the hell I am doing anymore. It is as if a space creature has taken over my brain, and my body, and my mind, and my head, and my body.
Gosh, I think I just repeated the word brain twice. Or was it the word head.
I am so confused. I blame Selena for all of this stuff. And I am so embarrassed because my mug shots in Florida showed all of my pimples since the officers made me take off my Covergirl makeup.
I also blame Ann Coulter, Kobe Bryant, Omarosa, and Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio. And damn you Chelsea Handler.