Wow! I just had the greatest birthday of my life. I spent it with my girlfriend Selena Gomez. We stayed at the beautiful St. Regis Monarch Hotel in Dana Point, California, and my mom paid for it.
Man, I could not believe that the room cost $6,000 a night, but wowie! zowie! it was sure worth it.
I had no idea that Selena knew so many Sarah Palin jokes.
She is quite a girl. One day she very well could end up being Mrs. Justin Bieber, or Selena Bieber, or Selena Gomez-Bierber or whatever she wants to be called because the way she looked in the shower was music to my ears, eyes, and crotch region let me tellya.
Well I gotta go. I hear my mom calling me to empty the trash can in the kitchen, feed the dogs, and wash her SUV. I guess she doesn't quite know that I am Justin Bieber - Teen Super Hero.