I'm flying to France to meet with the ex Vanessa Paridis. I'd like to get back together with her. It's not because the separation would cost me $100m. Apparently that's a lot of money in Euro's.
Since we split up, I thought I'd hang our with the guys, stay out all night at Hollywood parties and meet a few chics who recognise me from the Pirates of The Caribbean film franchise. But I went over to Tom Cruises house and it was just me, him and John Travolta. No women. All they wanted to do was give each other massages. I made my excuses and got the hell out of there!