This is some seriously cool shit going down! Sorry Dad!
Polish people like me, and have built a HUUUUGE statue of me to commemorate! How cool is that? I get one in Portugal, one in Brazil AND one in Poland. As well as my image splashed in every church in the World. I'm a bit like Wayne Rooney: all over the place. How much does he get paid again?
I don't get how I'm only 33 metres tall. They say it's for every year I've lived. I tried saying I've lived for 2,010 but they wouldn't listen.