Jesus - My Fake Diary

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Saturday, 9 January 2010

By tomorrow, everyone will have broken their New Year's Resolutions to go to church more often and the congregations will all be empty.

Maybe if I had all of the churches start putting in theatre type seating...and cupholder armrests...and showed previews before the sermons. It works for the movies, so it should work for me.

We could put up posters showing when we were going to have the different sermons. We could put naked people in the adultery posters and that might bring more people out. If we rated the sermon NC-17, I'm sure that we'd have butts in all the pews. We could do the same for the youth minister with posters on masturbation and necking and petting and the hazards of pre-marital sex.

I gotta learn a lesson from the movies. They're bringing in the people, so I can too.




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