Jesus - My Fake Diary


Thursday, 7 January 2010

I've decided that I hate King James and his stupid language in his stupid version of the Bible.

Whenever Dad and I answer anyone's prayers, we have to do it in that stupid flowery language or no one believes that it is inspiration.

I can't tell some guy praying about his girlfriend, "yes, marry her and you'll be happy." No, that's to simple.

I've got to say "Yes, my son in whom I am pleased. Thou shouldest taketh this maiden to be thy fair wife and honorest her as thou honorest me and my Father which is in Heaven."

Screw King James. I pulling his ass out of Heaven and sticking him in Hell until he repents for causing me all this trouble. If I wanted a poet to translate the Bible, I'd have hired Shakespeare.

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