What's that noise?
Oh it's just everything that I have created celebrating my birthday - the noise is deafening but nevertheless I am grateful!
Me and dad were just having a laugh at all the world's religious leaders, some of whom have got my message seriously wrong. The children have the right idea - it's all about ME, ME, ME. Bless the little children.
After all is said and done, it was ME who made YOU and everything else in the world, well... Everything else, EXCEPT Simon Cowell - how could I inflict such an abomination on you people? Obviously, Mr Cowell's the creation of the devil!
YOU MUST BELIEVE ME!