Jeremy Clarkson - My Fake Diary


Thursday, 2 June 2011, while you stuff your face with that bag of crisps and your children gaze out the rear window wondering where their sleeping quarters and the sock monkey they called "Binky" have gone.

Happily on my way, consuming every drop of my 13 miles per gallon under heavily acceleration, I shall beat you to your camping destination and take a dump on your pre-paid rental lot number so that you can enjoy my presence even more whilst looking for some sort of tarp to cover the remains of what used to be your bloated tin box.

Suddenly, my weekend outlook has improved as I revel in the fact that I've ruined your motoring weekend just as you have ruined mine.

Happy caravaning!

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