Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary


Friday, 12 December 2003

...length when flashing the kids. Boy did it hurt!!!!

I went to the hospital and told them how I did it. Welll I made up what happened cos they'd never believe me otherwise.

I said I was cooking in the kitchen when I knocked a bowl of salsa onto the floor, as I bent down to pick it up my trousers got caught on the oven door and then I slipped. My trousers and pants were ripped off on the oven and when I fell to the ground my private part was submerged in spilled salsa.

I think they believed me but I heared one saying "filthy old perv" behind my back. Whats filthy about a kitchen accident? Nothing. If it's that dirty then why don't they come and clean my house for me?

They can take their uniforms off obviously. Dont want em getting dirty.

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