Christmas is here again and her indoors has already made her television Christmas message. But - what about me? Why can't I have a Christmas message?
You may well ask. I would like to say that I intend to keep on living as does my better half. How else can we keep Charles off the throne.
He would be worse than Corbyn.
My son, our son. I suppose we must take some of the responsibility. But he is such an interfering twit! And getting found out - come on lad, pull yourself together.
Otherwise my Christmas message is very positive. Positively going to go on, lad.