Celebrity diary of Chester P Barrington, Butler of HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Enidblighty.
As you know of course being my diary and all, I am a very cantankerous old arse. But I'm also a solicitous, horny, back-stabbing shit-stirrer. Well that's what diary's are for isn't it?
It seems 'er from number 13 has got herself in the family way (again). Stupid bint can't keep 'em closed. The whole family's just full of wrongen's. Of course I think they should be locked up, the lot of 'em. Anything but a good shoeing will be too good for 'em.
We're off to Swansea tomorrow to open a fecking tea-room. Mind you I'll need to be me toes for HRH. We were at the trumpet and crow last night. Anyway he'd had a few and started effing and blinding everywhere, going on about how he fucking owns t...