Dear Diary -
Goodness. I can hardly wait for April 29 to come around so my wife, Queen Elizabeth can get back to paying attention to me instead of worrying all about this damn wedding between our grandson William and Kate Middleton.
I swear this little wedding is costing us a fortune. Lizzy has invited over 1,900 guests, and that is not including all of our grandchildren, our neighbors, and some of our employees.
And I cannot believe that Queeny spent £300,000 [$488,000 U.S.] to book the Rolling Stones to play at the wedding reception. Dammit, we could have hired The David Hasselhoff Trio for £600 [$968 U.S.].
Oh well. Let me go get me another Dos Equis Beer out of our Buckingham Palace refrigerator and worry about it some more.