Bad bloody back. Had to cancel state visit to Iraq. Quite frankly I've not bloody fused. Bloody ragheads, they only try to blow Liz up. Just imagine that bits of the Queen of England all over a bloody Baghdad street. Terrible.
Anyway at least I'll be able to get the Swedish blonde back to fiddle with my back. I might just drop the towel this time. Why not take my chances? She can only say no. Just as long as they don't send Benny again!
Still trying to come up with a plan to stop that bloody third runway at Heathrow. Got to stop these planes over anywhere near Winsor. Bloody noise. I can hardly hear the hunting horn at times. Best I've come up with so far is threaten them that I'll get Anne to pose naked, but there is bound to be some sickos out there who like that sort of thing.
Anyway Joanna Lumley is on the telly is a mo, so I ne...