Business is bad. So bad, I've had to start advertising meals for as little as £18 on lastminute.com
For less than a score of your hard earned, you can now eat at my two restaurants - The Narrow and The Foxtrot Oscar. For £25 you can fill your stomach at Maze.
£30 will get you in the door, seated and fed at Claridges. It normally costs that much to put your coat in the cloakroom and tip the doorman.
Mind you, for those prices, I can't guarantee the food will be fresh and cooked.