Gordon Ramsay - My Fake Diary

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Wednesday, 29 December 2010

...she be found IMMEDIATELY. Well that scared the shat out of the fucking queen and he told me he would try and locate her.

While that fuckin' pansy Basil was "looking" for Lilly my soon the be unemployed GM I decided to check in on the cook staff and see if the kitchen was clean enough to PASS A FUCKIN' INSPECTION!! - and grab myself a bacon butty and some fish fingers. On my way I needed to drain my percy so I stopped at the shitter. I heard what I thought was a Barney going on inside but soon realized a couple was busy cottaging in one of the stalls! I kicked the bloody door of the stall open to tell the participants to 'BUG OFF!' I thought I'd find a couple chutney ferrets going at it but to my surprise there was Lilly - the little bint - on hands and knees inhaling my lead chef's 'lap taffy'?!

I startled them so much...

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