Gordon Brown - My Fake Diary

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Friday, 12 June 2009

...that's his name. I only know him as my honourable member. Glad his name isn't Dick, as that's a really funny name for an honourable member.

8.15 Lord Alan Sugar has been on the phone. He just said, "Gordon. You seem worn out. You have no new ideas. You're tired." Or something like that.

9.00 Gosh, been up and working for four hours now.

9.15 My press secretary has arrived, what's his name. Or is it a woman. Anyway, I'm chuffed to bits. I've made all the newspapers again, with a nice photograph. They've even mentioned a line from my favourite song of the seventies by Jilted John, or Graham Fellows or John Shuttleworth "Gordon is a Moron".

10.00 Some woman called Nicola Sarcastic from France is dropping by today. I've never heard of her. I wonder what she wants. Probably someone to rescue Fiat or...

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