Dear Diary, Another difficult week for me. Getting tired of travelling to America to see that Obama bloke, every time he calls it's 'yes, sir, on the plane now, sir', never realised how annoying it is to be an American President's shoe shiner. And the lucky eejit actually has some power over there! I've turned into some sort of Richard and Judy Show agony uncle here, appearing on TV every day to 'reassure' the public about the latest government cockups. And putting on that slimy, grotesque smile, and talking like an English public school boy ... I'm seriously thinking of quitting.
As for that Etonian Cameron git, he's actually more popular than me! Diary, I tells you, when I'm a Scot with an English name and he's an English with a Scottish name it's maybe time to do the sensible thing, and all go and become MEPs, at least they ru...

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