Dear Diary - I swear that Dick Cheney is one mixed up sumbitch. I heard his gun misfunctioned when he was hunting up in Wyoming and then he wanted to go hunting in Montana and they told him hell no, we don't want no crazy ass old coot like you up here, hell you may end up shooting a goat or a cow.
Cheney has always been a lousy shot. I swear the old boy would be better off taking up sewing or baking cookies or anything but hunting.
President George W. Bush