Dear Diary - Everyone knows that I will do whatever it takes to make sure that the ratings of my fantastically wonderful hit NBC show Celebrity Apprentice continue to be amazingly awesome.
I tried to get Edward Snowden to appear on my next edition but he is still sitting at the Moscow Airport.
But I have come up with an even better idea. I am going to get Lindsay Lohan to appear on my show.
The freckle faced attention seeker will be itching to get back in the limelight and I will provide that for her.