Dear Diary - I still catch flack from total strangers for that bird hunting incident down in Texas back in 2006, when I accidentally shot Texas attorney Harry Whittington.
I am tired of having to explain that it was a damn accident. I mean if I had wanted to hurt the man, I would not have shot him in his little toe.
And now I hear that Vice-President Joe Biden has suggested that Congress ban bird hunting.
Well let me just say that if that happens the birds will take over and there won't be any food for frogs, turtles, squirrels, or sheep and then we will all be up the creek without a paddle.
I'm warning y'all,
Dick "Shotgun" Cheney