Dear diary wot I got free with a stonking new pen and pencil set because I have shares in the publisher and offered them loads of big contracts when, oops, if I become PM. Spoke to his lordship Tebbit re Ashcroft. Norrie has some ideas but mustn't tell.
The Scottish, unelected oink got a grilling at the Iraq thingy. 5 on the panel, all in our pocket, might make them all Lord or Lady something or other I'm PM soon - if if if must stop this.
Polls what polls, they hate the Scottish oink they will chuck him for me me me. I get to be PM, na na na na na