David Beckham - My Fake Diary


Wednesday, 19 November 2008

...stereotypical. You hit the enter key, the mail icon flashes, cold, generic, functional. You open the mailbox. 24 messages. 12 of them strongly urging you to have your penis savaged by a Hungarian butcher in a back alley of your choice, 'to increase your girth and enhance her pleasure'. There is no 'her'. You press delete.

10 of them either offer you Viagra, porn for $2.95 a month, free Spam for life, or a combination of all three. You hit delete. The next mail is a notification that your spam filter is functioning perfectly, would you like to fill in a survey? You hit delete, hard. The last mail is the one. You scan the information, open the attachment, acknowledge the picture, commit all detail to memory. You delete the file. The system immediately scrubs all trace of any mail. No connections.

You are driving North. Your black sleek 4x4 reflects your ...

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