David Beckham - My Fake Diary

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Sunday, 9 November 2008

...the pool, four small girls beat Gary senseless because of his little toes.

We decided to get out of the country but Gary had no money left because of the twenty grand he blew on the surgery. Instead I stood on Gary's enlarged chest and paddled us across the channel.

Once in France I took Gary to the Champs-Elysees under the premise of taking him high end bikini shopping. When we got there I punched him fourteen times in the hair for giving me such a bumpy ride on the sea. I bought him a very revealing two piece anyway.

We met up with my French mate - Sebastian the crocodile. He took us for a pint and Gary literally got off his tits on continental happiness. He made a move on Seb but Frenchy was one step ahead of him and bit both his elbows clean off.

Overall, I'd say a mixed day for Gary but just another day in the life of me - David Beckham!


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