David Beckham - My Fake Diary


Sunday, 9 November 2008

Today I travelled round to my mate Gary Neville's. I went round in order to see if his feet implants had taken and had indeed been successful. It turned out they had and his feet were now a rather delightful child's size 5. He had also gone for some breast implants whilst at the hospital (good old Gary eh?) taking him to an impressive 36JJ.

I took him to a car repair centre to celebrate. The workers there took one look at Gary's small feet and large boobs and proceeded to take it in turns putting a medium sized vehicle part up his anus. Julian the resident homosexual used his own "tool" to "go to work" on Gary.

I felt bad for my best friend and so I decided we should go swimming. It was really the only thing we could do as he could not walk properly and was still expelling exhaust fumes from his newly expanded rectum. On arriving at t...

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