What a day! Victoria won't believe this. I've just got back from Beijing. Do I look yellow?
On Friday I just finished vacuuming our green carpet in strips like at Wembley, then I caught the bus to get some burgers for Romeo's tea. The bus reminded me of one of those double-deckers in London. It was red anyway.
There was some top totty on the bus I'll tell you! (though don't tell Posh); birds with violins, singers in short gold dresses. Weird I thought. Except this old geezer with grey hair sat next to me and tried to strike up a conversation with me He said his name was Jimmy something or other, and that he was in a rock group, but I had other things on my mind and the conversation went down like a Led Balloon.
When the bus finally stopped we were in this giant birds nest and the roof of the bus opened...