Today I was called out again, by the European sportscasters, for being overrated. It's not my fault that the world loves me and wants to pay me. They talk like I hadn't ever scored a goal or made a decent pass in my life. Personally, I think I could beat the pants off of Cristiano Ronaldo any day. What a joke! Well it doesn't matter anyway, because I'm with the Americans now and they think I'm a soccer hero. If only they knew. Here's to LA and many undeserved millions!
(Do you know how much that signature is worth?!)