David Beckham - My Fake Diary


Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Dear Diary -

Holy cow! I just now saw Victoria's bunion. Wow! I swear the son-of-a-bitch is starting to look like a damn baby back rib that has attached itself to her foot.

I told her to go to the doctor but she said she is allergic to waiting rooms; something about having a tremendous fear of magazines or some stupid thing.

I also noticed that she is starting to look somewhat anorexic. She has gone from weighing 124 down to 89.

I guess that I am just going to have to threaten to divorce her like I've done the other seven times she lost all of that friggin weight.

I swear it is like living with a damn broom.


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