16th March, 2011.
Dearest President Bush,
Many thanks for the dates you sent me via the Columbian Embassy. I gave them to my pet monkey and he survived so no poison there. You can learn so much from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I had a great call from one of my lookalikes called Mustapha. As you know he is on Malta with my duplicate second wife-or maybe it's the real one. I will have to ask her. He was sleeping in the compound when all of a sudden he was woken up with a gun pointed at his head. He was sure he was going to die-and who would blame him after all I was alleged to have done over the past four decades. 'Am I going to die?' he asked. 'No, 'came the response. 'We are rescuing you.' So all the calls to Tony Blair as well as the oil for terminal cancer deal must have paid off.
It's a goo...