Brett Favre - My Fake Diary


Monday, 23 January 2012

Sunday 30th October - Fifth Sunday in October - Moon River

Was awakened at twenty past ten by Conchita nuzzling my neck and licking my face. I pulled her roughly on to my chest and began frenziedly slapping her face, right then left, faster and faster till she eventually yelped and bounded back to her basket at the bottom of the closet. They love it!

I arrived at the traditional Favre Family Halloween Brunch in the barn a few minutes late. The "uncles" who show up every week but whom nobody knows were already face-deep in their sausages as usual. Deanna and the girls were spoonfeeding an unfamiliar baby in a highchair. My adopted problem child, Lawrence Taylor, was gnawing at a chicken leg and fondling a breast. I took my position at the head of the table and all heads bowed as I said a prayer, winding up with the usual rhythmic, table-long chant of "...

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