Boris Johnson - My Spoof Diary

This is the spoof journal of Boris Johnson. It is purely a parody of what we imagine a diary made by Boris Johnson would be like and hope you find the fake diary as funny.

Currently showing entries from: 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008

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December 2009


Tuesday 22 December 099

Snow's a fucking nightmare. Don't want to get shitted on from a great height like I did last time. The gritters are out, but the shitters are still...

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Monday 14 December 099

Ken's been calling me again asking for a job. He's working at LBC 97.3, but nobody likes him there especially Nick Ferrari. Ken says he wants some pro...

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Wednesday 09 December 099

December 9th - Bloody amazing day! Labour showed their incompetence (not hard to do, really!) and in the morning, I dropped a huge log in the toilet,...

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October 2009


Monday 19 October 099

Dear diary That's all we need. That lout, Jenson Button has won a Grand Prix World Champiopnship, or whatever they call them. That'll bring the...

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Saturday 17 October 099

Dear diary Ken put some dead fish behind the radiator when he left. That is such a purile thing to do. I must remember it for when I get the boot.

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Friday 16 October 099

Dear diary Popped round to see HRH Missy Quin this afternoon. Took the bike. London was a bastard as usual. That's the trouble with having this pre...

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September 2009


Saturday 12 September 099

Cripes! A ballyhoo diary! Whatever next! Cripes! 7.00am Or is it? Can't really tell as the '0' on the clock seems to sometimes be an '8'. So it cou...

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July 2009


Tuesday 07 July 099

I'm quite excited about today and because that I am off to Trafalgar Square to see Anthony Gormley's latest project - living statues I believe. Just...

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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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