Just got back from Beijing and watched my TV appearance. I thought it went very well and will boost my image to superstardom.
Those blokes behind me though - the ones who had permed hair were laughing at me - bastards! There's me trying to put London on the map and trying to intimidate the Chinese by giving em a lecture on Wiff Waff or Ping Pong as they call it, and I've got a couple of chimps behind me.
I am serious about this and I am determined to appear on TV as much as I can in preparation for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2013 when I retire as Mayor of London.